Gandhi is the epitome of Agape Love
I am blessed. I now realise the last twenty years without a partner, has given me time and space to live alone in the midst of nature, absorbing the calmness and beauty of my surroundings. I am without the pressure of balancing the needs and vulnerabilities of another person with my own needs and vulnerabilities.
My solitude had given me the time and stillness to find the essence of who I am; what makes my heart sing, and the space to follow my destiny.
I have learnt about love – agape love. It has become my life’s lesson to know the non-judgemental, unconditional love of the Universe. I have varying degrees of success. I find it easy to send non-judgemental unconditional love to the people I don’t know in their suffering millions. It was impossible until I come to know, without a doubt, that life is eternal.
It’s much harder to find the non-attachment necessary to be, and give agape love with the ones I love dearly. I see them struggle with their own issues; of being frozen in grief or running from the pain of experiences held deep within.
The tragedy of unsolicited advice
I would give unsolicited advice, and my greatest lesson was from a daughter with obesity issues, who told me, “I know you love me, but there is always a BUT….”
I thought I was a good mother, loving and caring for her and stepping in when she was unable to care for herself. One day we were in a shopping centre, shopping separately, and planning to meet at the food hall for lunch. I heard over the centre inter com that I was required to go the a certain shop. Arriving there, I found her sitting in the office area with an ice pack on her ankle, which she’d injured tripping on a raised display area.
My daughter was looking at me with eyes shining with the most amazing expression of self-love. The shop people had showed her the utmost respect, taking care to treat her like the most valuable person in the shop. I had never seen such a look on her face. I asked myself, if these strangers could make my daughter feel this way, what was I doing to make her feel otherwise. It was my biggest lesson in agape love.
We discussed this anomaly later, and she said those fateful words. I decided never again, to give unsolicited advice. It gives the message, ‘you are not capable of living your life to my expectations.’
It is difficult to allow the people you love so much, to suffer their own agonies! We see everything through the filters of our own perspectives, which are not applicable to anyone else. I have to trust in the agape love of the Universe; to be the conduit of agape love– non-judgementally and unconditionally. I must allow everyone to take their own journey in whatever form that takes.