Tip No 4 is how feeling habits manifest
Empowering children with healthy feeling habits is essential to the full development of their highest potential, bearing in mind that every child is totally unique and each one will have their own unique highest potential!
Tip No 3 explained how a young child develops and their feeling habits are formed; either as unhealthy or healthy feeling habits with many variations of manifestation.
Tip No 4 is going to explore how the various feeling states manifest in the life of the child and follows through into adulthood. It is now that a child defines itself as being the kind of person they have become; to fit in with the demands or otherwise, of their earlier conditioning. The more they unconsciously adapt to living within limited circumstances, with conditional love and partial acceptance, the more they are likely to feel overwhelmed by new faster vibrational stimulation – bearing in mind that healthy feeling habits have a much higher vibration than unhealthy feeling habits. These new energies seem foreign. Stimuli that doesn’t agree with their original sonar blueprint are experienced as wrong, threatening, self negating and mind numbing – the same way their sonar bounced back as a baby.
How unhealthy feeling habits based on the “flight” decision manifest
The “flight” decision will always automatically kick in when a child has trauma in their first seven years, as the “fight” decision does not kick in until around eight years. The automatic response to difficult situations in life, is ‘flight’ – leave the room, relationships, job or country; drop out of conversations, the body and even life, abandoning self and others. At worst, the personality becomes split and dissociated. The person feels disoriented, lost, depressed, unmotivated and apathetic. They have memory lapses and loss.
They will try to distract and numb themselves with addictions to alcohol, drugs, food, sex, exercise, television, work, shopping, worry, socializing, or the internet – to name just a few!
They may live in other realities, or glamorise other places, time periods, celebrities, heroes, nonphysical beings or their own past lives. The grass is always greener elsewhere. They may be oversensitive to displeasing the people they have glorified and develop co-dependency relationships in which they virtually live the other person’s life; lose a sense of self, and end up feeling dominated. They may get involved in larger-than-life situations that monopolises the mind and offers a great excuse for not having to feel something. These situations can be chronic illness, chronic pain, incapicitation, abusive relationships, caring for an ailing relative, remodelling a problematic business or house.
The end result is that the person feels helpless and victimised, with no personal boundaries, sense of self, preferences or freedom, and is gradually drained, exhausted and paralysed. They complain, feel unlucky, make excuses, are often in bad moods and plagued by repetitive negative behaviour; overtaken by anxiety and panic attacks.
How unhealthy feeling habits based on the “fight” decision manifest
The ‘fight” decision will manifest as a child who grows into adulthood projecting blame, anger, rage, hatred and violence outside of themselves onto other people, when they don’t want to feel something; and attack people who threaten the way they want their reality to work. They become problem solvers trying to fix the things that bother them, in order to make the outside world align with their preferences. They become the rescuer, saviour or healer, projecting their ideas of how happy and healthy others should be, onto the others growth process.
They try to influence or control others through charm, seduction, false humility, trickery, negotiation, manipulation or force. They try to know more and to do more, reading voraciously, taking seminars, working long hours or volunteering for extracurricular and charitable projects. They become trapped in conflict and polarised positions that don’t resolve. They argue, criticize and want to reject or punish others.
They talk themselves into liking self-sacrificial realities they think they have to live with. They become stubborn resistant, stoic and immovable. They won’t change, won’t listen and won’t participate.
In contrast this is how healthy feeling habits manifest.
Children and adults who have remained open, or who want to actively develop the ability to see the world consciously, may recognise some of these healthy feeling habits.
They allow themselves to feel, think and act without self-judgement or self- sacrifice, in accordance with a natural inner sense of ethics and harmony. They allow others to feel, think and act as they do without needing to sacrifice their own authenticity They consciously notice the different vibrations around other people, places and situations and don’t allow these vibrations to change how they feel, think and act.
They keep their awareness open and in the present moment, receptive to the subtle signals of their own body; to their own body language. By remaining centred and alert, they have no need to separate themselves from the world or defend themselves from it. They simply adjust their frequency to the vibration that most nourishes or entertains them in any given moment. They will withdraw within themselves, not to escape feeling something, but to see what feels right for them in each situation, and to find their own ideas. They find insights and messages in various feelings; seeing every sensation and perception as useful.
They trust and enjoy themselves so there is no need to impress others, resulting in ease and clarity. The trust they will know, what they need to know, when they need to know it. They easily share their energy and awareness with others. They allow themselves to feel the full range of sensations, from the most contracted to the most expanded, as they understand the ebb and flow of life- knowing that all things come and go and there is often a silver lining in the most difficult contractions.
They know that life, and the mind naturally oscillate, allowing themselves and others to have polarities and change. They know their experience is up to them, and the choices they make by adjusting the frequencies they run in their body, emotions and thoughts.
Changing unhealthy feeling habits for healthy feeling habits
Be aware that every person is a unique individual, and no two people will ever manifest the exact same pattern. They may manifest few or many, in varying degrees- minute to manic. They may even manifest some from either the “flight” or “fight” decisions. There is no hard and fast rule as in life. It just means if someone you love is affected by these behaviours, they were badly traumatised in their early years.
Change must come from within a person committed to change
First, they must identify what isn’t working, and understand compassionately why they may be stuck in the dysfunctional pattern, so they can forgive themselves and others. They must then identify new and better methods to replace the old patterns. They must not be self-critical or self-punishing – just take notice and make a change. Others close to them must allow the person to observe their actions and reactions without judgement, as they are in control of their change. Unconditional love is foreign to them, so softly, softly, one step at a time, until they get used to the higher vibration. Only they can change themselves, however those who love them can give unconditional support with their belief in their loved one’s inherited wisdom, to bring in the changes they desire.
Access to a Psych-K facilitation can help accelerate the desired changes .