Last week I had an epiphany
Last week I had an epiphany which altered the way I think, completely changing my perception of how to live my life.
It all came about from the constant attention of the Carpet Snakes intruding into my world. I mentioned the big one a couple of weeks ago that killed the last of my free ranging chickens. I thought the matter was finished when I prodded it with a pitchfork in an attempt to discourage it from returning.
A python on my rafters after consuming a hare with a head ten times the size of the snakes head.
The return of the python.
In summer, I love to sleep in my outdoor bed because the feel of the soft night air on my face is such an exquisite feeling. To exclude mosquitoes, bugs, and everything else from joining me I have a very large comforting mosquito net; well tucked in on all sides, under the mattress.
A week after chasing the ‘big fella’ I woke to find half its rather tattered skin shed over the rafters a few feet from the end of my bed. The other half was draped over a large geranium in a garden bed a few feet from the head of the bed. It must have slid past me without my knowledge!
The mind can play dastardly tricks!
Perhaps you can imagine my thoughts! ‘This snake is out to get me’ was the first one that came to mind. Logic stepped in to say, ‘Don’t be ridiculous. It’s a snake with a reptilian brain which lives in the now moment. It cannot think or plan so forget that.’ Next thoughts were the memory of a Facebook post some months ago, of a twenty metre python approaching a huge Kangaroo road kill. The post was very graphic in detail showing the python crushing the kangaroo until all its bones were mush. The next image showed the snake dislocating its jaws to accommodate the huge bulk still remaining. The final image zeroed in on the huge bulge in the snake’s body as it slowly moved away.
For the next few nights, I shone the torch on the rafters of the verandah before climbing under the net and going to bed. Finally, I faced the possibility of the snake coming to visit me in my bed. I was pretty sure the snake would strangle itself in the net before it would ever get to me. I could have retreated to my bed inside the house but heatwave condition did not make that an agreeable choice. In my logic mind , I knew the possibility of this snake eating me was zero; however my emotional mind was trying to overrule my logic mind!
What was the worst case scenario?
What if the snake could actually get to me? Well, we all have to die someday – no one leaves this world alive. I know from my studies, of the fight, fright, freeze of trauma, the freeze stage gives total release from feeling the physical effects of trauma. It is well known that people who survive motor vehicle accidents, have no recollections from just before the accident, and no pain until they wake in hospital.
I decided if the python did manage to get to me and I could not escape I would be frozen in mind and body, and my spirit would be on its way back to my spirit home. On the positive side, it would mean no body to rot (a possibility, as I live alone on an isolated property) and no funeral expenses for my family! When these last thoughts entered my mind, I burst out laughing, because this was the fear that made me put my property on the market some years ago. I love my property with its closeness to nature and I do not relish the thought of leaving it. It was such an hilarious thought I relaxed immediately. No wonder I had an epiphany!
My next thoughts considered what I would do, in the possibility I knew I only had a short time to live.
I scrutinised my financials and realised I had enough asserts to cover my debts and funeral expenses. I could use some funds I had been hoarding for a rainy day to pay accounts owing; pay for finalising all the necessary steps to bring Joshua and Stranger Danger to publication, and still have money left over for a rainy day. I would be saving my family the burden of sorting out my affairs, with the option of holding onto my property to rent or sell at their leisure.
The freedom these thoughts brought to me was liberating in mind, body and spirit. The knot in my stomach dissolved; my energy which had been absent returned and my mind was clear of all its negative thoughts of lack and fear.
I did exactly as I envisioned and I am now overseeing the final stages of Joshua and Stranger Danger. The front and the back covers are almost finished and formatting the text and illustrations is in progress. After twelve months of constant writing, re-writing and revision, it is all coming together beautifully.
An epiphany possibly only comes once in a lifetime, so I am glad mine has arrived now. I think nothing could be more disappointing than to come to the end of one’s life, knowing there are things you had started, which got stuck and were left undone. Please do not think I am being morbid or feeling my time on earth is limited. Perhaps our biggest mistake is thinking we have unlimited time to live, and this holds us back from achieving our fullest potential.